The Suniverse: Friendship vs Relationship: The Smackdown

Let's be friends!

If only it were that easy.

I know that everyone talks about how hard it is to make friends, particularly in real life, and that's because it is.? It's spectacularly hard.? I have three people I'm cruising right now to be friends with, and a fourth as a possibility, but who knows if any of them will work out?

I mean, how much easier was it to make friends when you were in school - "You like grape jelly? I like grape jelly! Let's be friends!" - or when you were in college - "You like free beer? I like free beer! Let's be friends!" - or when . . . yeah, I think that's pretty much when you had your options for making friends.? I mean, if you have kids, you can make friends with the moms of your kid's friends, and if you work outside the home, you can make friends with your work buddies, but I've always found that pretty hit or miss.?

My starting a friendship relationship moves are in various stages right now with my four potential candidates, and I've got to remind myself not to just spastically start inviting someone to my house to watch Gilmore Girls or 30 Rock [except you're all invited, of course, because we're beyond that awkward beginning stage and into the real relationship where I can ask you if I should dye my hair redder and you will TOTALLY TELL ME THE HONEST ANSWER.? Also, we can talk about nail polish and bitch about our partners. FUN!] because that kind of shit? Will not make me a friend and will be discussed like a potential date's penis size - meaning not in a good way, but with horrific accuracy.?

It's hard to put yourself out there and ask someone to be your friend - to be in a real relationship with you and to be a part of your life.? Sure, you can bitch about sitting around with nothing to do, but it's a long leap from that kind of bitching to asking someone if they want to go do something with you.? Because if you do, and they don't? GAH. THE HORROR.? Then you have to pretend that it's ALL FINE, YOU WERE JUST ASKING, YOU KNOW? NO BIG!

It's worse than having a romantic relationship, because with a romantic relationship, if you tell someone you want to be with them, they either want to be with you or they don't [meaning they want to have sex with you or they don't - let's not kid ourselves, a great personality and a sterling credit record are nothing to be sneezed at, but you know and I know that if there's no interest in seeing that other person up close and naked, that relationship is not going far.? And let's also not kid ourselves, we know how far it's going to go from about 3.2 seconds in.].?

In a friendship relationship, it's far trickier.? I mean, if your potential friend looks like Salma Hayek, sure you'd want to see her naked.? Who wouldn't?? But in general, this relationship is more about the personality, and THAT is a harder road to navigate.? Because you can totally make out with someone for about 20 minutes and then decide it's not going to work, and you have a valid excuse ["I'm sorry, it's not you, it's me" or the ever popular "I'm sorry, I think I just got my period"], but if you hang out with someone for about 20 minutes - once you're able to finagle your way in - you still aren't sure if you've got something to build a relationship on.? You invest a lot more time in making a friendship relationship than you do a romantic relationship.?

I'd like to think that cool, fun and awesome people like us would easily make and maintain these kinds of relationships, but I think the gods mock us.? I think they know how important a good, solid friendship relationship can be, and so they make it harder to get and maintain them, so that we know that we should be thankful and cherish them.

Jerks.

michelle williams the descendants the descendants homeland homeland packers giants game golden globe winners 2012