Realtors Are Fascinating Agents of Capitalism | Richard Telofski on ...

Another hapless real estate agent.

Realtors have always fascinated me. They work very hard, take a lot of guff and abuse and still, somehow, come up smiling. Maybe the ever-resilient smile is due to that commission they earn. 6%.

6% off the top of the house, so to speak. Today, of course, realtor commissions are a bit more negotiable than they were years ago. Then it was 6% no matter what. You didn?t have much of a choice. It was 6% or you had to go Fizbo, Charlie. (Really that should be FSBO or For Sale by Owner. How many of those signs have you seen? And how many days is it that after you see those FSBO signs they are replaced by realtor signs? About 20 days? Tops? I guess a 6% commission, one that keeps capitalism moving, isn?t so bad.)

These days when you go to sell your house, you may actually be able to get an agent to work for less than 6%. That is if you?re a good negotiator or at least better than your agent. But this presents a bit of a conundrum. If you?re a better negotiator than your agent, and you beat down their commission, do you really want that agent representing you?

But if indeed you are a worse negotiator than your agent, no worries. That?real estate agent you hire doesn?t get the entire 6%. In the average American residential real estate deal, the agent that you know from your bowling league, or from Rotary, or from PTA, or from your lodge, or from your church/synagogue/temple/mosque etc., or from being your neighbor?s second cousin on his mother?s side, and hire to sell your humble abode, gets about one-quarter of that percentage. So, using 6% as standard, your agent will stand to pocket 1.5% of your home?s value.

Where does the other 4.5% go? It?s split, usually evenly, among the other agent who brings the buyer to your transaction, that agent?s office, and your agent?s office. Everyone has their hand in your pie.

Real estate agents work very hard, take a lot of guff and abuse and still, somehow, come up smiling. I was one once. But only for a very brief period in my working life. The period was so brief that I don?t bother to list it on my resume. Why was the period so brief? It?s like I said. Real estate agents work very hard, take a lot of guff and abuse and still . . . well, in my case I didn?t come up smiling.

Between college and graduate school, I worked for a short time as a commercial real estate agent. Yes, that?s a different product from the realtors you know. I leased office space, primarily. Didn?t really sell anything as does your average realtor. Well, let me rephrase that. My job was to try to lease office space. But the total square footage of the office space I actually leased during my very short tenure could fit inside the average condominium. The commission I earned, which was about 1.5% of the deal, put gas in my car for about two weeks. We?re not talking high finance here.

Real estate agents work very hard. In finding office space to lease, I had to canvas for listings. That meant going in and out of office buildings and cold calling developers all day, talking to the management about having me list their space for lease. This was, of course, while every other commercial agent in my area was doing the same thing, most of whom had been at this much longer than I had been.

It was more than once that I sat in a waiting room for an hour only to have the receptionist tell me that so and so could not see me today. Come back tomorrow. And then there were the few occasions when I would be admitted into the inner sanctum to see the building manager or the developer, who would then scowl and greet me warmly with a ?Get the f__k out of my office.? (I?m not kidding. That actually happened three times. As I look back on it now, I imagine that this behavior must be part of some informal initiation ritual for new commercial real estate agents. )

Real estate agents take a lot of guff and abuse. There were dozens of occasions when, to secure listings, I would need to speak with a landlord via phone. Some landlords just won?t see agents in person no matter what. So you can imagine how these guys are on the phone. Right after I get these guys on the phone and introduce myself, politely, and right after having to spell my last name, several times, to the person who answered the phone, usually a secretary or in some cases the guy?s wife, the landlord and would-be listing client screams, yes screams, into the phone ?NO LISTING!!!? The phone call is then abruptly terminated, and not by me.

After a few months of this nonsense mercifully my admission to graduate school came through. I was then glad that I was fortunate enough to do something else with my life.

But each time I see the movie Glengarry Glen Ross (I also saw the original play.), a movie about hapless and morally-challenged real estate agents, after thinking there but for the grace of God go I, I watch with fascination these agents of real estate, these defenders of capitalism who somehow keep the wheels of real estate commerce greased despite all the requests for them to ?Get the f__k out of my office.?

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