Unrequited Friendship -

Over the past few years, I?ve encountered a number of friends who?ve spoken about broken friendships or unreciprocated friendship. As I think about the depth of these conversations, I realized that friendships define and say as much about you as your choice of partner. I remember childhood conversations about giving love and giving in general because it?s the right thing to do. Let?s be real though, as you get older, the very nature of unidirectional friendships are draining and ridiculous. If you find yourself always available, the person most likely to lend a shoulder to cry on, and the brain in the operation, that?s great. But what happens when you need that from the person you?ve provided all of this free counsel too? You may need to consider not giving as much.

After talking to a friend of mine over the weekend, I was reminded how we as individuals have the responsibility to address issues in relationships early. Friendships are more like marriages than what I believe most people think or will even admit. Friendships often precede your serious relationships and many times will last through all of your ups and downs. What happens when you give your last dollar to someone, you provide strength and support to them, but when you most need them, they are absent or actually work against you? At the core of this conversation is emotional intelligence and reflection. If you are the person who sucks at being the friend to others that they have been to you, wake up, say thank you, apologize for being absent, and do something different. If you are the person that has given and given and given, and you are exhausted, stop giving. You have the right to say no and not feel guilty about it. Friendships, like marriage, need to be equally yolked as well.

Life is? already hard. We often look to people to provide support in our lives when we need, well?, support. Excuse the punctuation. But what happens when you look around and the support you need is non-existent? We all are capable of being deeper thinkers. Take a look in the mirror and be sure you are giving emotionally as much as you are taking. I?ve watched friendships splinter and become shells of what they were or could be because of a lack of care, concern, or common sense.? Once again, if you have benefited from a friendship, and you forgot just how much someone has done for you, call them today and say thank you. If you are acting ?Brand New? now that you got yourself together, remember, you are only a few seconds away form being at rock bottom and needing those people that really support you. What happens when they choose not to show up the next time? Think about giving more.

Source: http://www.lifeclectic.com/2011/09/27/unrequited-friendship/

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